Duck and Cover

Let me be sure all who are reading fully understand: I adore my family. I love each one of them. I love their laughter, their little bodies, their infectious smiles. However...
I find today, as the mist is clearing to reveal another humid, icky day, that I am..
officially wanting to Hide. I was once asked why I am always engaged in a book or three, watching movies whenever I can spare a moment, and continually seeking conversations with others. Aside from the obvious expansion on my mind; I find that I crave escape. I want to run from the doldrums that are mommydom. As I change the third pair of underwear before 8am on my potty training experiment gone awry, I just want to throw everything in the trash and catch a matinee. No one said this was easy- duh. But today is definitely calling for a substitute. There isn't one and nap time will come in approximately four hours, so there is hope on the horizon.
Just a little vent session for anyone who cares to sympathize. We all have days like today. It my turn.
No picture necessary- please use your imagination.

She's One!

Twelve months ago, at 12:30 Saturday Morning, September 23, Our little Lucy was born. I can't believe that my baby is so big. We didn't really think we were ready for the third child, and a girl at that. Yet life is so much better with you in it, Lu. Your brothers both completely adore you. Everything from your smiles to spit up fascinates them. We love to watch you discover the world around you- even if that means that you're less anxious for us to hold you. It is just so much fun to make you laugh. Your first year has gone by much too quickly; but we're so excited to see what you do next! We love you Lulu!

Everything's bigger in Texas

Minding my own business, I casually go to check the mail. I'm thinking peaceful thoughts about the beauty of our world and respecting all of the Lord's creations, when I almost walk directly into THIS! It's as big as my face, and suspended on my porch. The boys of my household (big and little) were fascinated. Especially by the bug wrapped and ready for take out. I love nature- I really do. But I have my limits!

In the Blink of an Eye

We all hear stories about awful things that happen to children when the guardian just "took their "eyes of for one second...". I'll sometimes come home to my husband and the children in utter chaos and think "what were you doing?" After nearly five years of being a mother, you would think that I would realize that anything can happen, and usually happens at the very worst times.

This morning, I had the baby down, the oldest getting ready for school, and the middle one engaged in a computer game. I figured I had a good 30 minutes to get something done. So I started to reorganize my closed. (smacking head) Stupid, Stupid! Right as everything is extracted and it looks like my closet vomited all over the bedroom; lightning strikes.

At the exact same instant: my oldest drops the cell phone in the toilet (before flushing), the next one acts like a puppy and poops all over my living room floor, and my youngest dives out of her crib. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Everyone is crying, the phone is combusting, the stool is stinking- I thought for sure that I was done for. Usually, deep breaths can help restore calm to my panicked world- but the stench was too overpowering.

Just goes to show, that inevitably, without preamble, you blink and it all breaks loose. We have restored calm and a lovely meadows and rain scent. Maybe I've learned to stay on guard- but probably not.

My Hummingbird

At the beginning of summer, I begged my husband for a hummingbird feeder. "Do we even have hummingbirds by our house?" He questioned. "No- because we have no feeder." I replied. My classic red plastic feeder with the pseudo flowers was promptly filled and hung outside our big kitchen window. Here we could get a perfect view. For two months it sat. Nothing. Then one day I noticed mold growing inside. I washed it out and filled it and hung it again. For two more months it sat. I did notice a leak of some sort, that made a lovely sugary, scarlet pool on my porch; that screamed to the entire ant population, who came and bit our innocent little toes. I have given up on my precious feeder, and let the mildew take over, watching the empty orb swing in the breeze.

Then today, through a hazy heat, I see a single hummingbird hover near the feeder. His attempts to feed were fruitless, as there was no nectar for him. I watched painfully as he flew away.

I think this is a very clear allusion to my life. Don't let me depress you, that is not my intention. But rather my own introspection. No matter how much energy I exert to create my perfect world, the bird will come and go as he pleases.

I'm a Muse- just like in Xanadu!

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverent, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! In love, you are quite the charmer. And you are definitely willing to risk your heart. You often don't follow through with your flirting or professed feelings. And you do break a lot of hearts. At work, you are driven but not a workaholic. You just always seem to enjoy what you do. You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist. How you see yourself: compassionate, unselfish, and understanding When other people don't get you, they see you as: gushy, emotional, and unfocused

What's Your Personality Type?

Bubble Toes

There's too many kids in this tub.
There's too many elbows to scrub.
I just washed a behind
That I'm sure wasn't mine,
There's too many kids in this tub.
-Shel Silverstein

Through the Looking Glass

As my son and I were praying this morning he said something that struck me. "Please help me be big like Papa and not little like me."

My husband (Papa) is 6'2", dark skinned, with a fantastic collection of curls. I, on the other hand am the opposite: short, round, and fair, with strait as a board hair. I have been know to say that these physical features were the reasons that I chose mi esposo; but that somehow my children ended up looking just like me (mock seriousness).

My four year old is already aware of what he isn't. He is already praying for alterations in his appearance. Maybe his comment is sweet, and a reflection of natural observances; a desire to emulate his father. But maybe it isn't. I listen to myself and my friends regularly critique ourselves. I know the state of my self esteem is kind of like pudding; a veil coating of strength, but easily punctured and oozy (though very tasty:)). But have I passed on that self depreciation on to my son, and eventually my other children? How do we instill esteem into people? I don't know if an adult's esteem can be altered. Though I'd like to be wrong- it doesn't appear that anything will change the deep down honest opinion of ourselves (or maybe just my opinion of myself). But I desperately want my children to be equipped with the shield of high self esteem- to know with out a doubt of their worth.

My childhood memories are seared with words that shaped my self worth. Said in innocence, a parent or teacher can easily pigeon-hole a child with a single phrase. "Your best feature is your lips", "You're a homebody like me", "Some people are not coordinated enough for sports" In my young mind, these comments were twisted into absolute truths of degradation. I believed that nothing was pretty about me except my lips. That I must not like to ever be social, and to never try to dance or play sports because I lacked the coordination. The intention was innocent- the result was my personal pudding.

So a question to the blogging community at large: How can I give my children high self-esteem? How can I make them not hate to look in the mirror? How can I help them believe that they are perfect as they are? (obvious personal growth excepted)

I look Good!

Which Twilight novel character are you?

You're Bella Swan - You are intelligent and kind but not quite sure what you want out of life yet. You have a feeling there's something more out there for you. You're attracted to those who are real and avoid the fake. Sometimes you're a bit accident prone, but your true friends will always be loyal to you and come to your aid when you need it.
Take this quiz!








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In reality I am shaped like a skittle (small and round) with strawberry hair. But maybe I should go for this new look.