Count my Blessings

Why do we need a special day to give thanks? I love a day committed to food with friends and family; but why can that not be every day? Why should we feel the need to rush around in a baking frenzy to be thankful for our daily blessings?

I feel overwhelmed with blessings. It will take much more than one day for me to count them all. I plan on spending the next year or so.



Just some cuties I found outside on Thanksgiving day.

The Duality of Motherhood

My kids are growing up. There was a time not too long ago in the not so far away world that is mine, when I actually wanted this to happen- was urging it on even. I now have a five year old, a three year old, and a one year old. My babies are not babies anymore. I sat just last week, begging them to grow up. In my head that just meant that we could play more and wipe bums less. It doesn't work that way.

Seth is such a big boy. He talks to me(in Spanish and English) really talks about how he sees the world, what makes sense to him and what leaves him wondering. He tells me plans and ideas about the future. I have come to depend on him so much for help: deciphering confrontations with other children that ended in tears and possibly bloodshed, to get things picked up and put away, to "watch" the babies while I hurry right back. Is he supposed to be so responsible? So mature? So self-sacrificing? I only know that my first born is growing up so fast- it will only get faster still.

Owen has battled from the beginning. He was born battling a shriveled, wasted kidney for his very life. He grew to battle each of us in turn. A tad bit obstinate, we knew that if we asked him to go one way- he would run in the other. I have held this little boy wondering where he got so much strength, endurance, and will. He has held out for nearly four years- refusing to use the toilet. I have yelled, cried, and washed everything we own in bleach. And then the other day, after I gave up and did what I said I would never do (buy pull-ups), he does it. He goes in the toilet now without a fight or fuss every time, day or night. And as much as I want to shout HALLELUJAH!, part of me wants to cry that my little baby is no longer little. He will now grow up even faster.

My youngest, Lucy was born with rocket boosters. The biggest, the loudest, and fastest of the three- she has almost shed her babyhood already. How is it that this little angelic girl is already the master of the house? It is impossible to look into her big blues and not see the teenager, or mother in her future. I celebrate her and miss her at the same time. But she is a baby no more.

I would have never guessed that it would be so gut wrenching to watch your children grow. And though I am with them every step of the way, I see them moving increasingly farther away from me. My greatest prayer and greatest dread is that they will leave me and be their own person. This duality of motherhood: the pride and pain, should really be included in the manual (Not that I would have read it or had any concept of its truthfulness.)

This time is so very hard- when they are young and so dependent. But I wish that I could stay here forever.

What Pet Next?

My boys have become big animal activists. I think I am responsible because I encourage them to check out animal nonfiction books at the library (though Diego has some influence too). At the end of every one; there is a plea to help the Bengal Tiger, or Great White Shark, or Big fat killer snake. My boys are taken in- hook, line, and sinker. "Mom we have to save the marsupials!" (Seth's eyes were wide and about to spill over with concern.)

The latest and longest lasting worry for my five year old is the Manatee. This gentle Sea Cow has stolen his heart. He wants to find a Manatee in need and provide it a home for Christmas. Our friend has a new pool, and Seth is convinced that her family NEEDS a manatee for Christmas. It was the only comfort he could find to go to sleep: imagining that his new pet would be happy for the holidays.

*Note: Manatees can be as long as 13 feet, and weigh as much as 3500 pounds. What backyard pool can support a beast of this size? Not to mention the intake and output. We may need to find a solution- the happiness of a very sincere five year old is at stake...and an entire endangered species.